black AND white

goodbye my friend

2008-11-01T14:25:00.005-07:00

你的绘画凌乱着在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散乱了
情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢
伴你断断续续唱着歌假装没事了

时间过了走了爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
一开始的不快乐你用卡片拭写着
有些爱只给到这真的懂了

怎麽了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一叙说着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

for you, my best friend. goodbye.
就因为有些爱给到这，
真的懂了。

let go

2007-04-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

because i know i can no longer have it the way it used to be

i chose to let go.

byebye.

2007-01-04T14:35:00.000-08:00

im lazy to retype. but at least i got it off my chest, a little i suppose.

you just see things from the surface. youll never know how it feels. as if ive wasted the past 6 years of my life. of course youll never understand. you assume this is your life, your fate (hah.) so youll never know how it feels. you dont need a 18 year old to tell you how to manage your life. you dont want to either. why dont you complain less and reflect more?

i miss ):

2006-11-26T15:10:00.000-08:00

theres absolutely nothing to do at home. rahhhh. was just looking through all the old pictures in my computer. rg prom. 403 outings. bbq at rachel's place. junli's place.

i suddenly miss those people a lot ): i miss my girls, my class ):

but can we turn back time?

shoppp

2006-11-21T21:45:00.000-08:00

W = double U?

hahahaha looks like im in for a W. but aiyah, i shall not bother myself with it until somewhere in march when everything comes back. then we shall see.

for tomorrow, its just whacking the s (ass?) haha whatever. maths was haha. i dont see why chem should be any better for me. anyhow, 15hours more! shopping awaits! (: (:

rahhh

2006-11-19T16:24:00.000-08:00

everyones out playing. im stuck at home. not doing anything constructive. im being at home just to lessen guilt. rahhh. im down with a flu. almost fell really sick yesterday. slept for almost twelve hours for 3 days consecutive. and i still want to sleep.

i have no mood to study! help! okay, for one. i know i dont need it. its just going to be there since ive already paid for it. but somehow somewhere inside i know im such a pig. i still want it to look nice. despite the fact that im not doing anything. someone sort of scolded me. telling me that i reap what i sow. haha i know im such an ass. i expect good grades when i dont put in the required effort. somehow complacency overrides a lot of stuff. sometimes i think im quite an air head hahaha. knock knock. bah.

theres so much to do. 4 days isnt enough especially when ive done nothing for it throughout the whole year. apparently i should at least try to do as much as i can now. but its just not here and not there. i dont like. i want everything or nothing at all. but i cant have everything now. and im not that cool enough to let everything go and have nothing at all. so im just sitting here to complain complain and complain. now, how does that help i wonder. for maths, i did 8 questions for 3 chapters over the past 2 days and have 14 more chapters untouched. chemistry? hah.

theres so much i want to do! but i dont know whether i'll still want to do them when i have the time to. its like that isnt it haha. my nose is dying. my nose is dying. my nose is dying. im so sad. i hate flus ):

im in need of vitamin M. it solves everything.

cool phrase

2006-09-13T21:14:00.000-07:00

因为不了解而在一起，因为太了解而分开

something to ponder over.. im supposed to be studying econs haha!

past few papers were oh well. put it this way. lets just hope things turn out for the better. tomorrow's chem paper 2 and econs paper 3. wish me luck. i seriously need it haha.

白色风车

2006-09-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

白色的风车安静的转着
真实的感觉梦境般遥远
甜甜的海水复杂的眼泪
看你傻笑着握住我的手
梦希望没有尽头我们走到这就好
因为我不想太快走完这幸福
很可惜没有祝福当家爱你并不孤独
不会再让你哭

我背你走到最后能不能不要回头
你紧紧地抱住我说你不需要承诺
你说我若一个人会比较自由
我不懂你说什么反正不会松手
我背你走到最后能不能别想太多
会不会手牵着手晚一点再到尽头
你说不该再相见只为了瞬间
谢谢你让我听见因为我在等待永远

empty

2006-08-19T10:21:00.001-07:00

biochem just makes me want to chuck it away. how to start reading?!

i feel like an empty shell. i seem to have alot of things, yet nothing at all. i dont know what im doing, where im going. a compass, anyone?

damn sad

2006-08-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

did quite abit of chem yesterday (: at least im trying to compensate for yesterday and maybe today. went for trier's birthday dinner at olio yesterday. their tissue paper is really quite pretty what. okay lah, its their logo haha. i quite like the ambience. but the food there, or rather just the one me and shuting shared, is disgusting lah. i felt so cheated paying for it! they said its for 2 but its so pathetically small. haha but at least ours was a bigger share than youmin's and bessie's x) still, it didnt taste nice to me at all. theres like this gross smashed rice looking thing which tasted like some arabian herb covering the food which i had to painstakingly try to remove. so no difference. wanted to go for movie today actually, but not confirmed yet. heh, does this sounds like prelims coming at all? hahaha!

i dreamt i passed my gp essay last night. the one i wrote in half an hour last gp lesson haha! this is damn sad. i need to dream of PASSING gp! and i have an idiot friend who got 36 for her essay on politics and science. yay so cool right. why are you my friend! okay, im going nuts and childish already hahaha! i heard this arts fella in rj got 48 for his gp essay. and i normally get around half his marks?! i feel so encouraged (: right haha.

couldnt sleep last night. was messaging some looney and trying to do maths in front of the television until 4am haha!

looney: guess what i saw
ying: what?
looney: i saw will turner in the mirror!

some going crazy early in the morning haha!

i dont want to study!

2006-07-22T19:54:00.000-07:00

im bored.
theres nothing special in life isnt it.
go to school. study. eat. sleep.
someone save me from the routine.
heh wait. i can remove studying from that one.
technically, i havent started studying.
unless you consider doing maths tutorials.
i dont have an idea how life would be.
theres no direction.
im not talking about which course to study.
what job to take up blah blah blah.
just a general direction?
seems to me that im going to spend 70 years (if i live that long that is) of my life meaninglessly. hmmm. maybe we should cut short the span. hahaha.

hmm

2006-07-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

come to think about it. theres only so much one can accept, give and take. i woke up today knowing that i no longer carry anymore hopes. but im not feeling down or anything (: its because youve changed and theres no point in me feeling sad if i lost the present you. goodbye (:

sigh

2006-05-11T16:25:00.000-07:00

ive been feeling really lonely these days.

i miss rj.

maybe i shouldnt have left.

):

motivation

2006-04-26T16:23:00.000-07:00

im contemplating whether or not to take the june SAT papers. registration closes tomorrow. i better decide soon. like by tonight haha. theres so much to do. im afraid of not being able to cope. help! okay, basic theory can wait. but my mid years cant. and theres hell alot of topics and i have hell a lot to catch up on. i think rg prepares me well whereas vj doesnt. or rather, im not preparing myself well. heh.

anyway, dance night is finally over. feels so weird to be so free all of a sudden. but now theres no more excuse to slack. i think im not good at maintaining people-to-people relations. sadly. okay thats very random. but theres alot of people whom i wish i'll stay close to or become close to. its quite funny the feeling. when you first see someone and you feel like having him or her as a close friend. okay im dont seem to be making sense am i haha.

i read evelyns blog the other day. theres this sentence about how upsetting it is when you remember someones birthday but they dont remember yours. its like a signal telling you that youre on the road to being forgotten. that you probably no longer mean as much to someone who you were once so closely connected with. its quite depressing.

sometimes i feel that i made the wrong choice. what would i have become if i hadnt left? i'll never know. but i know that if i start doubting myself now, it would definitely be a wrong decision. everything that ive worked so hard for and strongly believed in would go down the drain. i have so much on myself that i cant afford to fall anymore.

i believe therefore i can (:
one last try. go.

fortune telling!

2006-03-17T08:12:00.000-08:00

haha this thing can be pronounced dead already. i barely even come online these days! its amazing how it feels when theres just this once i clearly felt as if i knew what really meant more to me. much more than what i thought was what i had always wanted. havent felt so certain about anything for such a long time haha. its not those well-thought of kind of thing. just something which your gut feeling tells you. i cant explain but nvm haha. that kind of showed how undecisive and aimless i usually am.

looking very forward to going planet fitness with jiayan and the bunch (: we'll make full use of it aight! (: weight loss fat loss yay! haha im always saying it. but getting down to action is another thing. but food is just too tempting (: funny how people usually complain as a form of action to lessen guilt. maybe that only applies to me.

its sad to know how my self-motivation disappears as fast as how zheniang eats a burger. okay, weird description haha. nvm.

sighs

2006-02-04T22:00:00.000-08:00

is it always true that when you gain something, you have to lose something esle. when can it ever be the best of both worlds? feeling very detached. maybe its already the case.

true colour

2005-12-26T14:57:00.000-08:00

Black
Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

so much about being stereotyped hahaha. what determination? hehhh.

gathering! (:

2005-12-10T23:17:00.000-08:00

marche. coffeebean. pure vanilla. sijia. chinleng. mindy. diane. love! (:

birthday

2005-12-07T18:48:00.000-08:00

celebrated chunjias birthday last friday haha. went to ktv since there was nothing to do while we waited for the others to come. its quite amazing how so many of us always manage to crash into a room hahaha! surprised chunjia with tanxuans homemade cheesecake. it was all like melted. but still quite nice haha.

celebrated yenpings birthday yesterday. we wanted to go for buffet but since evelyns overseas, nice people like us decided to wait for her to return (: ohhh and that reminded me. maybe i shall use the internet sms thing to flood her phone and kindly remind her to buy something back for all of us haha! anyway, we went to ktv since yenping has never been there before. evelyn! your loss haha! joking lahh. lets go again when you come back. and before school starts sigh. though the crowd was quite weird, the company turned out great (: hahaha. had so much fun (: and we shocked yenping with our homemade chocolate cake. quite nice actually haha. just that maybe we shall add abit more water the next time haha. cant believe me, charissa and youmin can actually bake a decent cake. LOL. initially, yenping thought we bought the cake and she was thinking where on earth do people actually sell such ugly cakes. thanks ahh bruddah. we're quite pro (LOL) just not that pro yet what hahaha! not bad for a first attempt already haha! shiyun had to leave early. charissa and chenwei left but came back. its nice hearing them sing hahaha. both of them are damn cute. made us laugh like mad hahaha. and for once, zheniang didnt sing alot hahaha! its so rare lol but thats because hes sick -.- haha.

youmin yenping and i shopped a while before dinner. its just nice to sit down and talk to them. cause theres just so much to talk about. not just gossips actually. in fact, we didnt gossip at all hahaha (: i realise i hardly talk like that to people other than my rg friends. maybe thats why i know that these are the people wholl be with me for a long long time (: im glad i have my bruddahoot haha (:

and i want to go shopping! okay, this is random. but orchard seems to be quite boring already. but i need new clothes. haha. i have new clothes actually, just that my mummy keeps on pestering me to buy COLOURED clothes haha. cause all my new clothes are black. and apparantly, its not very advisable to wear black top and black skirt for new year haha. okay nevermind. i feel like im rambling =\ shall go off to watch my tv now.

from me to you (:

2005-11-30T18:50:00.000-08:00

maybe sometimes you cant only believe in what you see haha. that is, provided if you still have that little element of trust to believe what youre told. i guess this time round, what i didnt see couldnt have been much sweeter (:

im not bothering

2005-11-27T00:13:00.000-08:00

went all the way to international business park. which is like somewhere in jurong gosh. just to get my router changed. okay. so now i got my internet back (: its been so long since i last talk to people online for so long. there was just this period of time i couldnt be bothered to reply people on msn. hahaha. lazy i suppose. anyhow. im quite accustomed to living without the use of a computer, though it can be quite troublesome sometimes. thanks so much to the presence of an irritating elder brother haha. but he got the router working for me so nevermind that now haha! (:

ive been going back to school everyday this entire week. so much about my holidays haha. hope everything will start getting better after tomorrow's ride for hope. and hope i wont embarass myself tomorrow haha!

seriously need to get my work and packing started. it never seems to get going no matter how much i want them to. i guess actions really speak much louder than words lol.

feeling a little disappointed with someone. theres no anger. i cant remember when was the last time i really got angry with someone haha! cant seem to find a word to describe how i felt. cause i couldnt really figure it out myself either. maybe disappointments the closest word. though its not exactly very accurate either. nevermind. you need to understand, my vocabulary is terrible haha! until i find a suitable word (which is highly unlikely lol) i'll just let it remain as disappointment haha. maybe its because i overestimated someone. or maybe i overestimated myself haha. i feel like not bothering now. and maybe thats what i'll do.

ohhh yenping! though i dont know when youll read this since your computers down. but i'll just write it in first in case i forget lol. i realised something. you said theres no such thing as always taking, must give also right? i think theres no difference haha! cause in either case. there will always be someone being taken for granted isnt it. which is not good. shouldnt the best solution be to not take and not give? haha.

anyway anyway! grass went to europe already. will be back on the 10th. lets go for suki buffet after she returns okay! i want my f.b.o. (:

bruddahhoot mahjong

2005-11-10T17:38:00.000-08:00

hahaha. just read evelyn's entry.

yenping: "AHHHHHH"
rapist: "sorry. sorry."

thats like that classic example already. hahaha! yenping loudly claimed that she can sing S.H.Es songs...... ella's part only (: LOL. was just talking to her online. maybe one day when im not feeling all that lazy, i shall specially dedicate an entry to her. haha. touched or not! anticipating (: mmm. maybe i should include pictures too lah huh. visual aid hahaha!

my internets down because the router is spoilt. so now, theres really nothing much for me to do. im basically rotting by walking around at home (though technically speaking theres no way youll rot if you walk haha). okay maybe to look on the brighter side. at least i watch the channel 8 nine o clock show now. but still. other than that. there seems to be nothing much for me to look forward to. ive been going back to school almost everyday for pw. OP's tomorrow. i wonder what will happen when everything has ended (including I and R which has been stuck at the back of my head since yesterday just that i cant be bothered to sit down and complete it hehhh) then there will really be nothing for me to do. mmm. i feel that ive like wasted an entire year already. i remember looking quite forward to the holidays. so much things that i wanted to do. but im not doing anything now. i feel like a sluggg. or maybe a sponge. hahaha. oh wait maybe theres still quite alot of things to attend to. theres like the dr william tan thing after OP. dance. ogl. and supposedly cny adhoc. but the teacher stopped bugging me already. YAY (: shes so irritating lah. i think this will eat up at least half of my holidays. and im still deciding whether to go work. but there'll be quite a lot of disruptions cause of all these practices and stuff. and theres so much things that i need to do though i dont know when i'll actually start doing them. but i want to earn money! ahhhhh how! =\

i should start saving money (: fewer shopping trips. but its not like i buy alot of stuff when i go shopping hahaha. i just suddenly got bored of shopping/ walking around while i was out yesterday. getting bored of quite a lot of things actually. im bored of eating too. but i suppose thats good. hahaha. even strawberry pocky doesnt taste so yummy anymore. maybe unless you put something nice in front of me. ultimately. im still unable to resist the temptation. i dont feel like eating yet i want to buy something to eat. you know what i mean? LOL. okay nevermind. that doesnt make much sense.

and i realised something about myself. something which i knew would affect me actually affected me alot more than i thought it will. reality check for me haha. quite literally. just showed that maybe im much more realistic than i thought i am. is that good or bad.

kbox madness

2005-11-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

kbox on thursday was madness. nearly 8 hours omg hahaha! but it was damn fun (:

mahjong with evelyn youmin and yenping at my place yesterday, as usual. i like (: heh heh. youmin and yenping are scandalous people. tskkk! where's our kbox session? LOL. hehhh. i want to go sentosa to tan (: though i know you'll will say its useless -_-

and i like oreo iceblended (: okay thats random haha!

bored

2005-10-30T14:06:00.000-08:00

ive finally finished my wo he jiang shi you ge yue hui III vcds. and yes. i bet ive mentioned it a million times already. i think ma xiao ling's legs are so hot. pooof. im jealous hahaha! and i realised most of the actresses are like very pretty. hmpfff. haha. the endings a little stupid but i guess overall its still quite a nice show (:

i felt so empty after finishing the whole set of vcds. theres like really nothing to do at all. nothing. no nice tv shows too ): maybe i need more vcds haha. i was like practically walking around the house before i went to the com. hehhh. seems like unless theres no other nicer alternative, i dont exactly like going to the com anymore haha. i wonder why.

decided to pack my closet. going to give them to my aunt since she asked. took out all those clothes that i think i wont be wearing anymore. think shes giving them to her little nieces (: now my cupboard looks awfully empty =\ haha. i want to go shopping (: whos willing to sponser me? LOL.

i want outings.
i want outings.
i want outings.

actually, theres stuff to be done at home. but i dont feel like doing them hahaha. im terribly bored at home ):

back to earth haha!

2005-10-23T14:52:00.000-07:00

haha im back to revive my horribly dead blog.

ive obviously gotten back my results. really horrible. too ashamed to post it here lah haha. i finally see what a simple word named "complacency" can do to you. (i saw that in midyears too yet.. sighhh) small word. yet not that small. hmmm. okay i shall no longer complain haha (: cause i realised it doesnt work haha. i seem to be complaining just to make myself feel less guilty for not studying and putting in the effort (though i hate to admit it) haha. im like finding an excuse for myself. self-denial. tsktsk. this is unacceptable hahaha. evelyn! we will work hard! no more complains for me (:

i dont believe in regretting. it does nothing but makes you feel worse. yet, somehow it seems inevitable. sad. but this is life. come to think of it. the only time i openly confessed that i regretted not doing something was in march. it was after i lost something which i thought might mean a lot to me. but the feeling of regret faded after a while (: so maybe it wasnt that important after all haha! why am i saying this. nvm hahaha. actually i think ive been pretty much lucky and blessed. my grades are terribly below expectations. but how much can one expect if one only puts in the least effort. i cant always sit there and expect As to drop from the sky. simple theory. common sense. yet ive been practising it. what does that make me? LOL. i should stop overestimating myself (: ive been lucky for midyears. promos, not so lucky. but sufficient enough for me to scrape past the criteria for S papers though i still need to appeal for my sciences. i really need to thank god (: quite a fall. but not that hard. perhaps i really should start working and stop playing by luck haha! im going to hunt for my source of motivation! (:

okay enough of work (: the holidays are here! besides the presence of an awful pest called project work and oral presentation. i think its been pretty alright so far. shopping trips were funnn. and there's obviously more to come. i need to get a pair of shorter heels haha. the strap of my heels broke when i was at bugis the other time ): i like that pair of heels quite alot. utterly upsetting. i hope its repairable so i was forced to buy another pair. but they didnt have nice short heels. so now i have 2 pairs of highhh heels at home =\

ohhh and there's the highlight of the month! BRUDDERHOOT DINNER (: haha okay please dont whack me. i know its like quite some time ago hahaha. lazy to come online lah brudders paisehhh! haha! dinner was at fish and co. then we went to wisma coffee club and tried that muddy mud pie. simply delicious. and it tastes even nicer because im with my beloved-s (: hahaha. emotionally attached? YES. to ALL OF YOU (: we need more of such outings! hope someone's feeling better though i dont know what things are like now.

hope wednesday's going to be another beautiful day (:

go and study!

2005-09-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

been rather lazy to blog. come to think of it. im seldom online these days. im starting to feel that the computer is boring haha! surprisingly. i used to not be able to live without it. not that serious. but somewhere along those lines. LOL. been sticking to the tv a lot more though. quite a lot of problems. maybe problem isnt the correct word. im quite in a mess. been like this the whole year. sigh. pretty upset with myself actually. i wish i can do something about it.

no motivation.
no determination.
no piorities.
no sense of urgency.

looking VERY forward to after promos. should be looking at the present more than i should be looking at the future. hahaha. who ever said forward looking is always good? LOL. theres just so much i want to do.

learn some stuff.
packing.
shopping.
outings.
my lovelies (:

teachers day

2005-09-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

went back to rg on teachers day (: its just feels nice to see all those familiar faces in the corridor once again (: everything and everyone remained pretty much the same yet in a way its still quite different.

"we only learn to appreciate our alma mater when we graduate. and i guess it is human nature to only start treasuring things that you no longer have" -- youmin's blog.

i guess that basically summarised what im thinking. im greedy. but i know its not possible for me to have everything as of before. sometimes i really wonder whether people meant all the "miss you" and "love you" they say. and i dont mean relationships. as in. it has become something we say so often ever since we left secondary school. but do you really mean it? or are you just obliged to? or is it just another form of self-delusion? consoling yourself that you people wouldnt drift that far apart by saying all those. maybe im being pessimistic. but im not pin-pointing anyone in particular though. just wondering.

evelyn! i understand. and im telling you. i love you. and i dont intend to let you go anywhere near the word 'away' (: we'll work together alright! okay, this is gay hahaha! but you get my point right? 4 different schools. its hard we know. but we'll pull through these 2 years altogether! (: heh. and im no where near being self-delusional (:

sijia! you too you know! we're all so occupied with our own lives that we hardly have the chance to talk anymore ): you know. your tag made me smile. really (:

its freaking unfair

2005-08-30T21:33:00.000-07:00

okay. i admit i was being quite unreasonable. but not like i care. im not that nice as to be totally altruistic and selfless. i still feel its damn unfair. and i cant be bothered to talk about it anymore. it'll just spoil my mood. i could feel myself getting super super irritated and pissed off in school today. and probably even the day before. never knew pw could actually make me feel that way. but whatever. i'll think of something. not like theres anything esle that can be done besides that. now i fully understand the meaning of 坐享其成. and trust me. it gets on your nerves. REAL BADLY. especially when you yourself ends up in a horrible mess for no good reason. its usually people complaining about being unfairly treated for something they didnt do. but seems to me this time round, its because of something you did which others didnt and couldnt be bothered to. hah. what a wonderful world.

Initial D

2005-08-28T01:09:00.000-07:00

was cabbing home yesterday after dance which ended around 8. i never knew some cabs already installed that automated door opening thing. hahaha! cause i was like reaching out my hand to open the door. but before i touched it. the door swung open. and didnt help that its the seventh month. LOL. was thinking about it in that cab until when i got off the door opened without me having to touch it again. then i realised they installed that thing =.= hahaha!

watched initial D today. yes. slow i know. hahaha! missed it the other time =\ someone lent me the dvd. yayness! (: evelyn! im sorry to say. though youve tried a million times of propaganda. i still think jay cant really act. hahaha! but but but. he looks quite cool lah. in some parts of the show. ehhhhhs. edison chen is good looking. very (:

super cute!

2005-08-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

was doing pw in the library =\ feeling quite irritated until i received three super cute sms which totally made my day (:

jiayan: hello deary yings! pw grp 140 is here. harry potter and...

melissa: he who must not be named has good luck and we hope that...

ewan: you can make it through the rain. need any help, we will always be there for you. love love

hahaha. super funny the messages. internal joke! but also super nice (: zheniang sent some funny smiley face thing. roufang and chunjia got me mnms ^____^ i think i probably looked like i wanted to kill people or kill myself back then. oppps. anger management! hahaha! evelyn says i have nice classmates. thats true. in fact, very nice (: feeling apologetic to all those whom ive been unreasonably annoyed with and hence irritated the shit out of. sorrrrrrry! (:

kbox rocks.

2005-08-13T12:45:00.000-07:00

went to kbox at cine with bruddah hoot on monday (: esther and mindy couldnt make it though. it always seems to be the four of us ): my class went there too (: surprisingly the rooms we got were like opposite each other. twas managed to shuttle in and out of both places (: service that day was lousy. the food didnt came until like 2 plus and we were like starving. but because of that we managed to stay until 6. alot of people from fourseven came later. so it was like 10 over people in a 6 people room. haha. think the manager probably wanted to kill us. but because 3 of the lunches didnt come, they only had to pay for 3 persons share. so its like 3 bucks plus per person for 6 hours? what rubbish. hahaha! its amazing that we actually still find 6 hours insufficient 0_0 GOSH. hahaha! and evelyn met a good friend. it doesnt take long for 2 jay fanatics to know each other. hoho x)

watched charlie and the chocolate factory on wednesday (: quite cute. but a little weird. you mean the other four children became abnormal for life after visiting the chocolate factory? thats quite sad. hahaha. ive never read the book before actually. LOL. nevermind that. ohh and i heard theres places where they'll release artificial chocolate smell when youre watching the movie. thats so cool. was it junction 8 and/ or bugis? cant remember but oh well.

just woke up not long from my 16-hour sleep (: hahaha!

class outing to sentosa

2005-08-08T01:31:00.000-07:00

why do i have a feeling that this entry's going to be pretty long but yet pretty short. theres actually so much i want to say but i dont know how to go about it.

yesterday was a long day. class outing to sentosa (: conclusion: MAYBE 05S47 really rocks lah huh! hahaha! considering the distance and the number of people who came, it was a rather successful class outing. hmmm.. there were like 17 people (: was supposed to meet at 9am at harbour front but i had something on so i reached there about 10. thought i would have to take the bus to sentosa either with roufang or by myself. but apparently they (boontat, brandon, ewan, tanxuan, bernice, zheniang, melissa, yian and chunjia) were still eating at macs when i reached harbout front. hahaha. brandon had to leave even before we headed for the bus to sentosa ): sighhh. melissa quarrelled with her boyfriend too. over what i cant remember. i just remember it was over something which didnt make much sense to me. hahaha! anyway, went to siloso beach. good weather. the sun was just right and it didnt rain the whole day (: i remembered messaging old woman yenping in the morning to ask her help me predict the weather. weather forecaster? she wish! hahaha! she possesses that ability only because she has rheumatism. LOL. joking lah. thanks dear. it was actually quite accurate. haha (:

jevon, ben and ivan joined us later in the afternoon. followed by weenky, jason and darren. brandon joined us later in the evening (: yayness! we had lots of fun just doing a whole load of rubbish. slacking around in the water, captains ball, soccer, volleyball, touch rugby and missile throwing (ben brought this missile looking thing. very cute. it makes this sound if youre able to throw it properly. hahaha!) and ivan tay is freaking strong. goshhh. haha! the three muskerteers seem to be able to have their mini sports day everywhere. hahaha! they were like doing sprints, long jumps, triple jumps and i dont know what esle on the beach just because they didnt want to join us in the water. and we had a long time persuading zheniang to go into the water. didnt know why he kept insisting on not going into the water. hence we concluded that he was hydrophobic even though we know he knows how to swim. hahaha! and there was the jiajia's muffins (sijia! youre still my one and only irreplacable jiajia okay! hahaha. one and only hong mao zhu too. and by the way, i love your that sec one picture to bits!) for some unknown reason, all of us became really HIGH when it was nearing evening. especially during the phototaking part. hell funny and loads of fun. our 幸福的感觉! LOL!

went to bathe after that. so maybe yian lost her wallet lah huh. and maybe all of them went to find it for her lah huh. hahaha! anyway, the night was.. pretty (: anyway, melissa and brandon's problem turned out fine eventually so yepps.. good for them (: melissa mentioned on her blog about our ten years later. hands off sia! hahaha! joking only lah! we left sentosa at around 10pm. SOME hungriness. as quoted from roufang over the phone. lol. we met jevon at the bus terminal back at habour front. poor him was waiting like alone for us for nearly an hour plus cause darren left or something =\ lol. so we ate dinner at habour front macs. and maybe for some other reasons all of us started to speak like this ever since we left sentosa lah huh. haha! took the train home with jevon and reached home at like 12am. thats probably why i didnt even dare to ask my mum whether i can go to gotham penthouse with sijia on monday. she'll probably skin me alive or something =\

my mum seems to have something against me being in vj. she thinks ive been going out everyday ever since i entered vj and im like totally neglecting my studies. im neglecting my work, thats quite true though ): but i can pretty much assure it has nothing to do with vj lahhh. i dont really care what about what she thinks. im quite sure im having much more fun here than i had and will have in rj. wayyyy more (: i think im really quite lucky to get such a class (: imagine if i got into some boring, nerdy class. i'll probably like died and killed myself. going to school's no longer a chore and the fact that ive never really wished that i was back studying in rj kind of showed that the risk was worthwhile isnt it? in fact, very worthwhile (:

maybe i dont know what i'll be missing out on but id rather it be that way than to have something i presently feel that i wont be able to keep and end up losing everything i wanted to treasure. now i kind of understood what someone esle meant. quite a pity we still end up losing what we, or rather, i wanted to preserve. i dont think its a we now actually. hahaha. but not like it affects me now (: im happy with the way i am presently. though im still quite unclear of what i want (apparently this quite applies to my studies now as well. which is rather like. horrible. bah) but i guess, still sufficiently clear for me to avoid mistakes (: just dawned on me that its actually more upsetting to know that you made someone close sad as compared to you yourself being sad.

and i realised jevons quite good at pioritising. must learn from him! haha! maybe i agree with melissa. theres probably much more to that clown (im joking lah!) than what we see from outside. we shall see. haha! bruddahhoot outing tomorrow (:

oh and i heard that 403s taking part into tomorrows netball competition (: jiayou people! quite a pity i cant be there. but i guess its like that. you gain some, you lose some. i felt quite disappointed with someone a few days back. but i guess ive more or less gotten over it. i wasnt expecting anything in return. but the fact that you seem to totally forgot about everything made me felt so unregarded and insignificant. i know "its the thoughts that count" but i dont even see that little thought. i felt as if ive been made use of. maybe thats a bit too serious. anyhow, thats quite upsetting.

i feel like crying

2005-08-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

upset. so much so that i actually feel like crying ):

ravvv!

2005-08-04T20:39:00.000-07:00

this is a super late entry but oh well. hahaha. been rather lazy to blog. LOL. got back PW report today. quite disappointing but its okay (: shall continue with it. PWs such a bug. bleahhh >.<

sijia asked me why i didnt include this. lazy lah darling. haha! okay so anyway anyway! yepps. went to rav with sijia cheen rachel simin and huili last saturday (: quite a number of rg people there. haha! spent the night at rachels place. actually rav was quite fun lah. hahaha! maybe thats when self-conscious becomes quite a burden i guess. nvm. hahaha. its basically loud music, dancing and more dancing. now i kind of know whats in there. haha! im such a mountain turtle. lol. quite amazing cause somehow you'll just forget about everything esle. no undone work to think about. quite like that feeling (: and chinleng is so pretty its so demoralising. LOL! poof. oh yes. and there was like this constant ringing sound in my ear for the whole of sunday. it only went away on monday morning. the only thing i didnt quite like. freaked me out quite a bit actually =\

sigh

2005-07-29T21:14:00.000-07:00

i see the impact brought about by distance. and i cant do anything about it ): i never thought that it would be a problem. i had always believed that as long as both sides feels the same, everything esle can still remain the same. things proved to be otherwise. i guess i underestimated its "power". as much as i would like to feel very much the same. i can still sense that distance. that invisible gap in between us that makes me feel that im still quite far apart even though im just beside you ): i wonder whether you sense it. or am i the one whos thinking too much. i remember telling sijia that the other person may not be feeling that you guys are drifting apart and that she was thinking too much and yet here, im actually doing the same thing. quite an irony though. hahaha! sighs. felt quite sad ): but am trying and will continue to try to put in that little bit more effort! (: i wont want to lose what i really want to treasure (:

i want you

2005-07-24T18:40:00.000-07:00

Anytime I need to see your face
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
Your crystal mind and
Magenta feelings take up shelter
In the base of my spine
Sweet like a chic a cherry cola

I don't need to try and explain
I just hold on tight
And if it happens again I might move
So slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face
Of the human cannonball
That I need to I want to

Come stand a little bit closer
Breath in and get a bit higher
You'll never know what hit you
When I get to you

Ooh I want you
I don't know if I need you
But ooh I'd die to find out
Ooh I want you
I don't know if I need you
But ooh I'd die to find out

I'm the kind of person who endorses
A deep commitment
Getting comfy getting perfect
Is what I live for
But a look then a smell of perfume
It's like I'm down on the floor
And I don't know what I'm in for

Conversation has a time and place
In the interaction of a lover and
A mate
But the time of talking
Using symbols using words
Can be likened to a deep sea diver
Who is swimming with a raincoat

Come stand a little bit closer
Breathe in and get a bit higher
You'll never know what hit you
When I get to you

Ooh I want you
I don't know if I need you
But ooh I'd die to find out
Ooh I want you
I don't know if I need you
But ooh I'd die to find out

Anytime I need to see your face
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
Your crystal mind and
Magenta feelings take up shelter
In the base of my spine
Sweet like a chic a cherry cola

I don't need to try and explain
I just hold on tight
And if it happens again I might move
So slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face
Of the human cannonball
That I need to I want to

Ooh I want you
I don't know if I need you
But ooh I'd die to find out
Ooh I want you
I don't know if I need you
But ooh I'd die to find out

So can we find out

hahaha! just needed to get that song out of my head (:

irritated

2005-07-23T13:04:00.000-07:00

got back all my papers some time last week.

english - 59/100 failed summary. hahaha!
maths - 80/100 could have done better :(
chemistry - 62/100 very disappointing.
physics - 82.3% quite alright i guess (:
econs - 45/80 i got a 3/12 for that essay. as predicted. haha!

that makes it AABCD. its quite weird cause i dont feel much about it. even when i didnt do quite well. which isnt very good. its only sometimes when i think about certain stuff, i'll feel that strong sense of disappointment and hence theres that sudden urge to complete all my work and all those things which i wanted to do but have yet done. but somehow that source of motivation fades away quite quickly. sighs ): i know i want to do well. its not so much about the grades actually but more of i know im able to do much better than what i have done. i cant complain in school anyway. because i'll probably get the same few expected remarks. hahaha. i guess its almost the same when mindy told me she couldnt complain to anyone about her maths results the other time. she understands (: its more of meeting up to our own expectations. nevermind. read evelyns resolutions the other day. mines falling apart ): bruddah! yours has better not okay! (: though i believe we all enjoy the planning more than the implementing. its always the case. hahaha!

perfectionist. and that little bit of competitiveness. maybe. lol.

sometimes i wonder whether im too trusting. as in, its very easy for me to fully trust someone. though i always try to deceive myself that im not. what for, i dont know either. hahaha! but wouldnt it be tiring if you were to read into everyones every move and speech. though at times i really wonder what i see is really what they are. is it because others read too much into things. or is it because i dont read into things that much. i think sometimes i do. not always though. nevermind. hahaha.

am getting quite irritated and angry with myself with the way im handling things. but i'll get myself fixed (:

im losing even that little bit of believe that i have left in what most people call relationships. hahaha. or should i say i cant be bothered about such stuff at all now. and i like it that way. im influencing people too (: hahaha. yenping! my ah sa xue er li ti pai beats your er mei pai alright! (: but its true isnt it. friends last longer. definitely. wayyyyy longer. surprise-visit planning in progress (: hahaha!

did i change?

2005-07-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

been thinking about this since yesterday. i wonder whether i changed ever since i entered vjc. hopefully not =\ i do sense a difference in the way i speak though. more chinese and stuff. but im pretty much alright with that. minor issue. just that sometimes it kind of amuses me when i think back and realise that the way i speak subconsciously changes when im talking to different groups of people. hahaha! but im quite sure theres much more to it than just the way of talking. i wonder how the same person can be so different when with different people. a persons character should most probably remains the same. or so i believe. yet the way they talk and behave can actually differ so much. not intentionally i suppose. at least, for most instances. i hope. LOL! (: okayyy. back to the question. i wonder whether i changed in terms of the way i think and act and stuff. hmmmm. i wouldnt know for myself though. its like using your "current way of thinking" to think of "another way of thinking" (which is your previous way of thinking) which isnt pretty much possible is it? okay. nevermind. i realise i dont make much sense here. hahaha. or rather, i cant seem to put my point across. oh whatever! hahaha! i shall go and have my dinner. beats rotting in front of the computer. my head feels like its spilting apart. again. for no good reason. ehhh youmin. im starting to wonder whether i have a brain tumour too =\

tired

2005-07-16T23:22:00.000-07:00

had SC-CT-housecomm-outing today. quite successful i guess (: though the number of CT people who turned up was like O_O hahaha! havent been blogging for the past 2 weeks =\ lazy lahhh! was quite busy actually. though im like currently cca-less (and i dont like that fact. haha. so maybe i should go find a cca like soon) thinking back. i cant exactly remember what i was busy with. deforestation plans down the drain. as expected. tutorials pretty much undone. and im kind of lost in chem and econs lectures again. twas not listening. hohoho x)

there was actually quite a number of things i wanted to talk about. but i cant remember what =\ hahaha! my stm's at fault again. maybe thats why i should try and be more diligent and blog more often. diligent. hah! if only.

mahjong!

2005-07-03T09:32:00.000-07:00

yenping youmin and evelyn came to my house today (: started playing mahjong at around 5 plus. barry came down too. hahaha. and the first thing i noticed was his shirt. LOL! ordered pizza for dinner (: my parents wasnt around so we could blast music and play mahjong the whole night. delightful (: youmin and evelyn couldnt stay overnight so alvin came to take over. hahaha. i broke my record. tong xiao mahjong. we didnt sleep the whole night! just gossipped and played mahjong until sunrise, 7 plus in the morning 0_0 panda eyes. wahaha! i think alvin still intend to go for tuition. LOL. madness. talked alot over dinner (: brudderhoot and a sister (barry) or thats what yenping called it. wahaha! heartwarming actually. especially when i dont know barry all that well. and its the first time i know alvin. hahaha. won money but we werent playing real cash. oh well. nevermind. had funnn (: shall go catch up on my sleep.

two candies (:

2005-07-02T02:07:00.000-07:00

went out the whole of friday. wahaha! reached home at around 1 am. my mum actually allowed (: didnt have to go back to school that morning so i went to meet the part of the class at plaza singapura. the 11 of us watched a lot like love. the shows not too bad. quite funny (: jevon and ivan came to meet us after that. jevon and his kbox. again. wahaha! and chunjia wanted to sing too. so we went to ktv world instead cause it was cheaper i think. ive never been there before. i still prefer kbox though. the environment just seems nicer and more.. comfortable maybe? hahaha. nevermind. im not complaining. its funnn. and entertaining. hahaha! tanxuan bernice and ben joined us later too (:

anyway, was just saying i didnt feel like going home early and binglun actually suggested watching midnight movie. LOL! i thought he was joking. apparently he wasnt. wahaha! my mum allowed me to watch (: on the condition that i stay home the whole of tomorrow. LOL. i dont mind. since yenping youmin and evelyns coming my house tomorrow (: but oh well, all the 12.20am tickets were sold out. and the next earliests 1.50am o_O thats madness already. LOL. so in the end we went to play pool at meridien. met jevon ivan and ben there. playing warcraft i suppose. and i met enoch at the pool place. wahaha! my mum was nice enough to pick me up after that. hoho (X so we just sat there and talk until my mum came. ehhh. stupid marvin. showed my horrible ezlink card and csc card. urffff. LOL. speaking about horrible..

MY HAIR IS WORSE -____-

midyears over!

2005-07-01T00:17:00.000-07:00

midyears finally over (: wasnt very well done. in fact it was rather badly done, but at least im glad its over. after midyears another thing (: new start. new resolutions. this time i really hope i'll follow my resolutions. i cant find the word to describe how i felt after this whole thing. its sort of like i know i will do (and did) badly but yet i know i really deserved it. there was somewhat this great deal of disappointment involved. i wasnt stressed, angry or anything like that. more of upset with myself. how and why did i allow myself to be in such a mess. ahhs. anyhow, im done with it (: kind of learnt my lesson. i hope (: LOL.

and lets see...

english - lets just say i'll be surprised if i pass. and im not exaggerating. try doing a comprehension without a single question that you are sure of having at least a point or two. and a summary which you had no idea on what youre writing about halfway through. enough said.

econs - my very first attempt writing an econs essay! nothing much to say about econs. theres not much expectations either. not enough time. i wrote a half a side of fullscap long paragraph for a 12 marks question! im planning to get 2 out of 12 there. hoho.

chemistry - no comments. it was major disappointment ): i see the difference between practising and not practising.

maths - the paper wasnt too bad. but im surprised at myself. first time i lost 10 marks without complaining. hahaha. maybe its because i know its not too bad for a super last minute work. did only a paper like the night before after having not touch maths for almost a month. okay. quite an excuse there. self-consolation i guess. the next time i'll expect much more. i promise (:

physics - not too bad i hope (: the papers quite alright. i think i'll be quite disappointed if i do badly for this. theres this presence of some unexpected expectations. surprising. lol.

okays. looking foward to my long awaited shopping trips (: and not to forget. brudderhoot kbox outings (: i suddenly had this strong want to go shopping with evelyn while i was at orchard today. wahaha! evelyn low fen ling! you are blessed okay! your honour. hoho (:

im going to do quiz after midyears =)

2005-06-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

hahahaha. am feeling generally happy today (: guess i was in those weird moods to write the last entry. ignore me. wahaha! (: was doing a little of those lame quizzes. all the answers are pretty interesting. shall make a note and get back to it after my midyears (: something esle to add on to my long to-do list after the mid years (: i like to plan such stuff. hahaha. those little things that i look forward to (: aighhhht. need to get back to my cute mr econs. 7 more chapters to complete in less than 24 hours. i will have to spend the night with mr econs. ho ho ho -.-

where are you

2005-06-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

beneath all those laughter and madness. what do i exactly want. i know lifes easier that way. maybe thats why i chose it to be that way. but sometimes when you regain that little bit of sanity left in you. then youll start to think. sometimes you get pretty lost in all those laughter and smiles. is there that little bit of truth among all those rubbish you said. nobody knows whether im speaking the truth or whether im just joking. truthfully, i dont know either. feeling very lost these day. im not clear of what i want anymore. my work is in a big mess ): and i just laugh it off. not good at all. i used to not do that. maybe what i need is a really hard fall before i can pick myself up from scratch. i can feel that little bit of complacency. though i really have no idea why its there. theres no reason for it to be.

it has been increasingly easy for me to feel envious of people and things recently. i never knew that i actually have so many empty spaces.

he is damn cute!

2005-06-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

procastinated. as expected ): day TWO of studying in school. was feeling lazy so i cabbed to school instead of taking the bus. reached school at eleven. we were supposed to go to school at ten. but binglun woke up at 10 and yenping had to have breakfast with her father. hahaha. but nvm since i woke up late as well (: and i was still home when they smsed. good thing. LOL.

efficiency of studying. much better than yesterday i guess. i didnt even finish chemical bonding yesterday ): was feeling quite irritated with myself. so i studied chemical bonding right from the start again. i think its the longest time i actually spent on a chapter among all my subjects. but at least i cleared it. finally. after like confusing everyone esle. wahaha! lunch was cup noodles from seven eleven. avoided parkway (: and i realised something. maybe next time i should buy other flavours instead of chicken. they look muchhhh nicer. hahaha. okay. nevermind. lol.

left school at 6 plus. managed to touch A BIT on ionic equilibrium in school (: supposed to touch on econs today. quite impossible. hahaha. im feeling sleepy =\

i need need need to study

2005-06-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

day ONE of studying in school. in the last week of the holidays. how nice (: wahaha! went to study with binglun in school this morning. i woke up at 7 plus! thats an achievement considering the fact that i wake up at 12 plus almost everyday. LOL. im becoming nocturnal 0_0 haha. okay. back to the point. studying WAS productive. that was when we were still in school. then we went parkway burger king for lunch with yenping and tried to study there. lets just say i completed 2 sides of a paper of chemical bonding in 2 hours. yayness -__- and to think that i thought i could finish chemistry today. or rather, that was what i aimed to do. im still left with the 3 major chapters and i have yet to finish chemical bonding. actually, i could have finished it. thats if i continued studying like i did when i was in school. MUST start on econs tomorrow!

i realised the hardest part is getting started =\ and i cant get pass that phase. not for econs at least. i dreaded chemical bonding. finally touched it for the first time today! (: haha. bingluns actually quite a good study partner. wahaha! keeps telling me everythings simple. and half the notes are full of crap. kind of helped actually. motivated me to start on that 40 pages or rather, 42 pages of notes (: maybe i should go to school to study tomorrow. quite a condusive place actually. fewer distractions like the food and the television. haha. shall see.

finish chemistry. finish chemistry. finish chemistry. or at least. 2 out of the 3 chapters. wahaha!

i miss you!

2005-06-11T16:07:00.000-07:00

had 403 gathering at junli's place yesterday! (: okay, first of all. junli's house is HUGE. its super pretty. omg. look like a holiday resort lah. and not to mention good food. hahaha. i realise my blog entries are getting shorter and shorter by the days or rather, months. but anyways, yes. basically,

four-o-three! wo ai ni!

took it off mels nick. but sums everything up nicely and exactly (: irreplaceable will be the other word *grins* i enjoy and miss being totally retarded in front of you people (though maybe i still cant beat mel. hahaha. joking lah!) i wont forget going down the list of register numbers, all the updating of everyones personal life. wahaha! and rotting on the sofa with mindy. and IN BED with charissa. which later, shuting trier mindy and youmin joined in and destroyed our romantic time together. LOL! and just sitting down talking and laughing with everyone esle (: i just love being around them. just feels so at home (:

pity i couldnt stay over at junli's place. kudos to shiting's sister's boyfriend who kindly sent me and mindy home (: thanks shiting! ohh. was marshmallowing with mindy at orchard mrts staircase before we met the class at 4. i like! (: havent seen her in ages. yesterday was just nice nice nice nice and NICE (:

withdrawal systoms again!

2005-06-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

nostalgia. i found this line which fits everything exactly. wahaha!

过去甜蜜在倒带，只是感觉已经不再

im not troubled so dont worry (: kept thinking about something yenping told me. maybe its because it hit youmin too. ever wondered how a sentence from someone can beat 100 sentences from another. how someone can just make you feel so at ease no matter how sad you are. pretty amazing dont you think.

wouldnt it be nice!

2005-06-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

Car

Wouldnt it be nice if the world was Cadbury
Driving in the car would be a tasty treat
Changing gear would soon become a problem
Cadbury Dairy Milk is so good to eat
And when you arrive at your destination
Youll be greeted with an exclamation
Wouldnt it be nice!

Postie
Wouldnt it be nice if the world was Cadbury
Chocolate roads and trees and birds and bees
Delivering all kinds of letters daily
Every kind of purple parcels too
And if the dog did try and grab a mouth full
You can bite him back, he'll taste delightful
Wouldnt it be nice!

Soccer
Wouldnt it be nice if the world was Cadbury
You could be a soccer super star
The referee would blow his chocolate whistle
A shot on goal would break the bar
And if you went and scored the winner
You'd win the cup and eat it for your dinner
Wouldnt it be nice!

Surfer
Wouldnt it be nice if the world was Cadbury
You could surf inside a chocolate tube
Ride your board across the wave forever
Get wiped out and never get a bruise
And if a shark came up and tried to bite you
You could say "Im chocolate I invite you"
Wouldnt it be nice!

kbox on 3rd June!

2005-06-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

and i forgot to mention. kbox last friday with yenping evelyn youmin shuting and charissa was tremendous fun (: we spent the whole afternoon shopping. youmin yenping and i bought the same top but of a different colour. wahaha! i went to citylink mall with yenping in the evening. and we spent almost an hour at that pretty bookshop trying to help her buy ONE book -_- i wonder since when did she become so perfectionist and particular about such stuff. why ah? tsktsk. LOL. and to think she used to scold me for being a perfectionist. wahaha!

i couldnt change the font for some of my previous entries ): looks pretty weird. all verdana and suddenly in the middle of nowhere some entries/ parts are in trebuchet. i dont like! but there seems to be something wrong with blogspot. i reposted the entries after changing the font but there isnt any effect. so i'll just leave it. luckily those are hidden in archives. hahaha.

satisfied

2005-06-05T00:07:00.000-07:00

am feeling very pleased with myself right now (: managed to edit this whole template thing by myself. wahaha! i consider it quite an achievement because im a computer-idiot. LOL. but oh well. i spent the whole day at the computer yet again. half the time was dedicated to this thing. and the other half to i have no idea what. this is depressing. at this rate, i might have to go through orientation again next year o_O ehhh. i missed vj's orientation though. BAH. what am i thinking! i had better not.

readyandup

2005-05-31T01:17:00.000-07:00

work hard and pioritise! and that i shall do (: or at least try to. i feel so bad for wasting all my time away just like that. realised there isnt much time for me to do everything. okay. i shall aim to get at least a b b c. mmm. maybe not. itll be a miracle if i can actually pass econs O_O wahaha! cannot like that. must get my stuff right. need to get my academics back on track! better still. balance both play and work (: okay. i found a new aim. and i shall work hard. lol

move it!

2005-05-29T00:25:00.000-07:00

watched madagascar yesterday. the show was pretty alright. rather cute and funny. hahaha. then a few of us went to send jiayan and alex off at the airport. they left for sri lanka. some community service project. im considering to go if they were to have something similar the next time. sounds quite an interesting experience. meaningful too (:

anyways. reached home at 3+ in the morning yesterday. LOL. great day *grins* roufang, yian, tanxuan, zhen iang, jevon and me went to kbox at parkway after sending them off. didnt expect it. but im not complaining. i liked it! quite a lot (: we should do that more often. wahaha! though the next time. i think the girls wont dare to touch the mike anymore.

we should listen to ben's idea and have that movie marathon and sleepover thing. think its going to be real fun. =))) that is. if all falls into place. hahaha.

sighhhh

2005-05-26T16:11:00.000-07:00

yesterday's match was.. sighhs. was it complacency or just plain unlucky? we should have won.

its very saddening. you see one whole row of them. standing close together. arms around each other. a few knelt down. think jevon did too. to pray i guess. all of them seemed so worried. you should see the point when all was finalised. i couldnt see their faces from far but somehow, it makes you feel sad.

something just crossed my mind. people normally console others by saying "its alright. its okay." isnt that weird. because if it really is alright, they wouldnt be upset in the first place isnt it?

im talking too much. im not catching up. and im pretty sure i dont want to flop my mid-years. not at all ): i need motivation! mmm. seemed to have found a source of motivation a few days back. shall not mention what. but oh well. it made me felt really guilty for wasting time. shame on me! lol.

arhhh

2005-05-15T00:25:00.000-07:00

just realised how i can make someone not feel good through something i subconsciously say or do. i should learn to be more tactful with my words.

ate cookie summit at swensens with the nerd today (: and recently my money keeps disappearing! grrr. i have a feeling the mnms in school are the masterminds. i need to cut down on food. seriously. shall stop going back on my resolutions. lol.

if you're not the one is currently stuck in my head. a rather old song. but nice (:

contented

2005-05-12T00:15:00.000-07:00

its nice to know people like talking to you. quite a nice feeling actually when they do tell you things. theres this trust somewhere and i like that (: been quite numb and emotionless these days. this comes in handy especially when someone has lots to complain and talk about. hahaha. pretty amusing come to think of it. one person being all so emotional and the other just listening and replying in a cool, monotonous manner. lol. and ive been keeping things quite well this year! good for me *grins*

lava brownie chomps

2005-05-08T18:51:00.000-07:00

enjoyed dinner with my darling at cityhall crepes and cream yesterday. totally mannn *grins* just sitting there and talk about the whole world. i like! (: and oh boyyy. that chocolate crepe is freaking nice! i want to eat more =D

immuned

2005-05-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

2.4 yesterday. didnt have SPA. going to be on next week. but had duty on drama night. but its alright. free dinner and free show (: something's not right. i keep feeling sleepy 0_0 hahaha. almost slept at some parts of the show. not that its boring lah. the shows alright. ISNT horny and sick and amusing only. haha. the gay rocks! but i saw his butt crack! -.-" gosh. hahaha. skinny legs! LOL. oh and things are pretty obvious now. not that i want to see it. but its just my luck to keep bumping into it. why ahh. but heck. isnt my problem. LOL. anyways. boontat's so going to lose the bet! muahaha =P

OHHHH. and i didnt fail my 2.4! *grins* though its like still damn lousy compared to last time. i have no idea how i managed to run in sec 1-3. hahaha. but at least i dont have to take 3rd period pe! thats provided if i dont fail any of my 5 items. lol.

esther's coming down on tuesday! YAY =D havent seen her for so long. havent met up with the bruddahs etc. for some time too. oh wells. ayyy pigs! go out! go out! cannot zhong se qing you!

yays.

2005-04-30T11:15:00.000-07:00

havent been using the com for SO long. been reaching home at around 10pm the past week cause of cheerleading. but nvm. cause ursa cheerleading got first! =))) didnt manage to do the boom part cause by the time i ran there already 'boom-ed'.. sighhh.. ): but anyways, ursa won! YAY! =D clinched both the guys, girls and cheerleading! sehhhhh~ LOL. =P

THE PEOPLE (:
the girls: clar tee josey mel audrey lyndsey shariza rebecca zhongmin daphne ying and ying and the guys: yongsheng nicolas aaron khairul rowell chingkai

glad i got to know these people! *grins* shall post some of the pictures when i get back my internet. that reminds me. i need to call lifu uncle. i think i said that a month ago 0_0 hahaha. ohhh. and i seem to suffer from STM nowadays. haha.

stressed and shitted

2005-04-23T17:37:00.000-07:00

okays. so much to do. so little time. so little mood. mmm. this will seem like a homework reminder. heck. so much on my mind. and i seem to be suffering from short term memory recently. been quite senile too. oh no! getting old! hahaha -_-

-> type out PI by monday
-> 2 maths tutorial
-> 2maths assignment
-> 2 LATE physics assignment (don't know how to do! never learn those topics!)
-> 3 physics tutorial (2 of which are LATE. and i dont bother to do since i havent learn)
-> 6 chapters for physics test on wednesday (half of them seem like NEW chapters)
-> chemistry tutorial (how to do when i know nothing on chemical bonding? yays.)
-> lotsa chem chapters to catch up!
-> no idea whats going on in econs since janurary (up till now! which is not good at all)
-> sports day coming steps not remembered (i cant freaking dance for nuts?!)

okay. doesnt seem that a lot now. thats better. have a feeling i missed out quite a number of things. oh.. i just realised. the catching up is actually kinda heavy. ahhhhs. good luck to me. -.- i dont know when i'll be able to catch up on all the work and be on track. i regretted sleeping through my first three months. bleahhh. i dont like to be mood-based. cause i cant seem to get the mood back. which is why im kinda awfully screwed up here. BAH. and it doesnt help that i keep getting scolded. i dont like it. having responsibilities doesnt mean i have to finish up all my work on time all the time like some model student. okay. fine. supposed to be role model blah blah blah. i dont exactly care about that you know. lol. but at least give me some time right. im trying to balance everything on hand here.

i dont know what im feeling now. in a very 'on my own' state these few days. if you can actually get what that means. seems like there's no one around me who i can trust or depend on, on anything. nevermind.

its 5.30pm on saturday. got to go back to school now. yays.

oh. and i got a very nice birthday present - swollen finger. from the basketball. nice right! hahaha -.-

yeppps

2005-04-19T20:57:00.000-07:00

decided to pon yanchu! lol. presence and absence not being noted. no work to do. have no clue of what is going on at all. whats the point of going then. might just as well not go. okays. thats final. yays. (:

iloveyoursmiles =)

2005-04-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

bahh. didnt went for charissas birthday party =((( im so sorry darling! i got my retribution. bleah. but doesnt mean i dont love you! i see you everyday. cause you're on my phone wallpaper. LOL. honoured not. hahahaha =P love the way you break everything down for me. but things are much easier said than done. sighs. anyways. tell you whats saddening. yanchu's on this friday! -__- cant pon. damn it. how to go out! its so pathetic to spend the whole day in school and whole night back stage *sobs* but ahhh. have to live with it. hopefully i can meet up with my darlings and brudders on sat (:

i dont feel the drift with you guys. thats nice. but i dont know what you guys think. we're still the same right? *grins* i dont like the feeling of uncertainty. you'll never know what the other person is thinking. even if you want to. things might not be as perfect as you think it is. what if the other person dont give a damn at all. leaving you being the only one who bothers. maybe its just human nature to win. the one who seem to care less gets the upperhand. theres a difference between not giving a damn and acting like you dont care but actually, you do. how can i know which is which, when you're under that mask, and when you arent. i'll never know. cause i'll never ask. and you'll never say. how about nothing of such has ever crossed your mind. and im the only one who's left stranded here. alone. searching for the light in the dark which cant be found. i hate to admit. but i think. i lost.

you asked me before. what if i forget you. i could only answer how to. you said so sweet. seems a little like deja vu to me now. i want to. or rather i have to. am supposed to. and you want me to. but how to? am i not trying hard enough? or am i even trying? all i know is at that point of time in my life. i was seriously contented with everything i had. and you happened to be there. or is it because you were there. i cant seem to tell the difference. it seems more of a how to than a want to now.

i threw myself into the water. more like you threw me into the water. but i'll find the way out. somehow. by myself. (:

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'cause you came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause I channeled all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane

stole a part of some lyrics from stephs blog. dont know what song it is. but i like the words. mmmm. why do i sound like im in the oh-im-so-cynical mood. lol. must be the songs im listening to these days. ohhhh. by the way. f.i.r's qian nian zhi lian is niceeeee *grins*

hell pissed.

2005-04-14T21:43:00.001-07:00

realised ive been speaking more chinese. lol. quite weird. okay. very weird. its like when i was talking to sijia and brenda. i said a lot of things in chinese. mmmm. influenced. but it feels weird. me speaking to them in chinese. hahaha. ohhhh. by the way. I LOVE YOU SIJIA =))) had soccer match between vj and rj today. and sijia and brenda came down *grins* sijia said she came to look for me. so happy. haha. cause she know i was freaking urfffff today. lol. i love them sooooo much man. always there to hear me complain. but oh well. i guess its going to be the last time kay darling. the next time we'll have new gossip topics and stuff. hahaha. sick of it. not worth mentioning. isnt cool enough to be talked about right sijia? LOL. will kick him down the roof if i have the chance to. *laughs* kidding. im demure. hahaha. =P

cant get pissed. weird. but oh well. whatever. im not giving a shit at all. i felt so insulted can. argh. maybe theres more than a side to it. but oh well. from what i see. not right. but im not bothering anymore. so its okay.

anyways. been seeing and hearing a lot in jc compared to secondary school. i want to stay in rg. life is like much more relaxed and stuff. not just academically but somehow. im starting to dread mix schools. okays. quite cynical. but from what i see. a lot of peoples lives seems to be screwed up by all these relationship problems. seen quite a number of those from people around me. quite depressing. and annoying. oh well. whatever. i think being asexual is the best. and i just found out. simin's also in there =))) hahaha. she came down to vj today too! *grins* i love my laogong =D

ohhh. and the hairdresser cut my fringe shorter. wayyyy shorter. until eyebrow! O_O but erm. no. not the dolly thing. LOL.

abbbbbs! (:

2005-04-09T01:55:00.000-07:00

really sucks to have the internet screwing up on you when you are posting your entry. especially when your entry is a long one. bleah. i cant be bothered to retype the details anymore. but basically. i was like a total retard for the past 8 hours. had like 5+ hours of chem straight. was having a headache already. ended up having stomache as well. cause i was laughing too much. hahahaha. boon tat and brandon are hell funny. was trying to laugh without sound for the whole of the make up chem lecture. good training for abbbbs. hahaha. just kidding. had make up chemistry practical after that. i was laughing so badly that my hands were shaking when i was pouring the solution. omg. hahaha. i was laughing like mad the whole day, alex asked if i was on drugs. lol. ohhh. and boon tat rocks my socks. hahaha. he was trying to light the bunsen burner by switching on the gas tap that wasnt connected to it. hahaha. but on a more serious note. i miss rj's chem! lol. its really wayyyyy much better than vj's. though i cant explain why. but oh wells. nvm.

crashed music festival. me jiayan and roufang managed to get in. (: hahaha. lazy to elaborate on how. i didnt expect them to use luminous chops though. so serious 0_0 but music fest was nice. and omg. joyces voice rocks. she sang 'i turn to you'. that song reminds me of meryl. both of them are damn zai. anyways. we felt quite bad. cause i realised there was quite a number of crashers and we koped the seats of those with tickets =X sorry! i will ballot for the tickets next year! (: didnt help that the day we found out about the online balloting was the closing date -.-" so we couldnt get the tickets. sigh. ohh. zhen iang says he want to join next year. hahahaha. okays. i shall not suan him. hes not too bad actually. hope he gets in. cause if he does. i can steal his complementary tickets *grins* went to parkway macs with alex enoch jiayan and roufang. all of us are so full of rubbish. hahaha. i think the amount of laughter (if you can actually count them. haha) i accumulated today is more than my 2 months in rj (excluding the times when im with my brudders and darlings. lol) but thats good right. i should get to know the people in my class more. they are so funny. hahaha. THE ONE seems so quiet. lol. now i see why looks can be deceiving. hahaha. enoch looks so decent lah. looks only. lol =P and i learnt new terms! LOLLIPOP AND FLY. a circle and a dot! omg. hahahaha. basically. today's quite a good day *grins*

going to be quite busy i guess. but i have a feeling that sub-consciously, i want to be busy. somehow now i seem to understand what is meant by 过得很充实. not as if im doing something very meaningful and stuff. but at least i dont feel like im literally wasting everyday away. i feel quite contented (: but im neglecting my work. this isnt good. (isnt now reminds me of jevon. all the time. hahaha) i should start catching up on other subjects and not just maths. =X lol.

it hurts so much that i no longer feel the pain. is that supposed to be good?

wah lao!

2005-04-06T19:54:00.000-07:00

okaysss. i just read yenpings blog. tmd yenping says i look weird in vj uniform! grrrrrr. *scratches yenping* LOL. just kidding. actually. i think quite lah. hahahahaha. i cant seem to wear it properly too! somehow it looks weird. somehow somewhere doesnt look right. but i dont know where and why! hahaha. nvm. i have 2 years to correct it. oh wells. whatever. hahaha.

teckchuan managed to glue my badge back for me but stupid zhen iang (mr potato face! haha. kidding kidding =P ) koped it. lucky i bought 2 yesterday. (: gave one to teckchuan. but im keeping the other =)))

and i need money desperately! havent paid class fund.. bahhhs. im am BROKE ):

oohlahlah (:

2005-04-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

school ended early for me today (: i like tuesdays. haha. since theres no chinese. school ends at 12.10 p.m. *grins* somehow it no longer feels painstaking for time to pass. though school ends pretty much later here than in rj. quite weird eh? but im not complaining. hahaha. went back to rj today. saw most of my darlings! feeling happy. sat in the canteen with sijia cheen brenda and talk rubbish. i like. haha. then of course theres my dear shuting. whos currently standing at 170th position. lol. saw xink of course! and dear dear xink. if you're reading this. im so sorry. hahaha. abit 害死你 right? =P hahaha. just kidding lah darling. 我还是爱你的! =) ohh. did i forget to mention that rj is the easiest school to crash? lol. cause they dont care at all. i was in vj uniform and i walked into the school like nobody's business. better still. i was chatting with mr cheong. lol. not like the other teachers who saw me cared much anyway. they even smiled at me. friendly teachers. hahahaha =D

i remember saying something like "at least days pass faster now" and cheen said i sound as if im counting down to the day i die. haha. but come to think of it. im seriously living each day as it goes by. no clear direction of where im heading to actually. why do i feel so retarded. and i realised ive been laughing quite loudly these days. lol. need to tone down a little i guess. haha. like when they were showing me ahem (he's called ahem because i cant remember his name. lol) i just burst out laughing (no. im not being mean. ahem's supposed to be very cute. so i have no freaking idea why i laughed. hahaha) and after that i forgot how he looks *faints* ohhhhh. and i got an announcement to make! im ASEXUAL (: hahaha. but that doesnt mean rosemaries arent allowed. lol =P

took the train with sijia. we have a new bet. i shall put it down least you forget and try to cheat me. lol. we're betting on a meal at swensons. =))) 2 years right? we should change it to one meal per year. then i'll get more free meals. hahahaha. anyone esle interested to bet is gladly welcomed *laughs*

i am bloated -.-

2005-04-02T23:11:00.000-08:00

im so freaking full now =X mummy went to malaysia. so dad brought us for out for dinner. went to heeren's marche. food wasnt very satisfying today but nvm. thats not the point. lol. you know what? i went pool with my brother and MY DAD! LOL. cool right! hahahaha. but dont know what happened to kpool today. blacked out three times in less than an hour. yawns. my pool really sucks. much worse than last time (which was already quite gonecase. lol) dont dare to mention who were my shifus. lol. so throw their face. anyways. i realised i havent been playing pool even since then. reminds me of people :\

minmin!

2005-04-02T13:40:00.000-08:00

happy birthday youmin! though the date of this entry's a day late. lol. yesterday was youmin's birthday/ april fools. hahaha. me and evelyn wanted to fool her lor. told her we all couldnt make it for dinner with her. i heard she got really pissed. and so we got scolded from yenping -.- who apparently told her we were just fooling her. wah liew. not fun le lah. sighs. of course we wouldnt pang seh our dear (erm *coughs* lol) minmin on her birthday! hahahaha. brotherrrr. havent seen you for so long. i bu she de lah. hahaha =D went to crystal jade with youmin, mindy, evelyn, charissa, bessie, yenping and shiyun. xiao long bao! *grins* then later went to haagen daas. going to get fat. bleah. ohhh. and before that i met up with cheen, sijia and rachel (: went pencil box hunting with mindy after that. which ended up being a strawberry hunt. dottts. that spastic woman. hahaha.

stolen from youmin's blog:
and how can you mend a broken heart
how can you stop the rain from falling down
tell me how can you stop the sun from shining
what makes the world go round
how can a loser ever win
please help me mend my broken heart
and let me live again.

she always have nice sentences. but is this part of a song? no idea. hahaha. sorry lah. im very outdated. =X i still like this one a lot though: ...and i miss you like the deserts miss the rain (: my present msn nick. nice right! haha.

masked.

2005-03-30T20:04:00.000-08:00

05S47 seems fun! though the ratio is like what the hell. 16 guys : 8 girls.. dottttts.. but i think i'll like my class quite a fair lot in time to come (: and im probably going to join dance. YES. laugh. im laughing myself actually. hahaha. heard they're going to have some salsa/ballroom/and-i-cant-remember-what-esle module. sounds fun what! so i join for fun lor *grins* hahaha. ohhh. and im joining chinese drama too i think. planning to do hua zhuang this year. when i dont even know a single thing about make-up! lol. i think the only thing i can differentiate is lipstick and mascarra (is that how you spell it? haha) good luck to me. or rather. to whoever's acting. lol.

feeling happier and more relaxed these days. hopefully its from within (: and i miss you, you, you, you and YOU. my brotherhoot! and all my darlings in rj! hahahaha. im trying to be rouma here. still fail lah. lol. but yeppps. you guys are still the best =D

it wasnt as easy as i thought. why am i still bothering? mmms. dont think its likewise. ehhhs. i should stop it.

zonked

2005-03-26T19:26:00.000-08:00

not right. im forcing myself to continue sleeping even though i cant sleep anymore. managed to stay on the bed half asleep (was i even sleeping? -.-) for another 3 hours for the past 2 days. seems like i hate waking up. nothing to look forward to. nothing to do. okays. a lot to do. just that i dont do them. maybe i should cultivate a habit of burying myself in piles and piles of work to keep my mind busy. (: okay. wait. back to what i was saying. ehh? what was i going to say? lol. been having short term memory recently. nevermind. i sound like some nutcase. hah. -__-

my brother's friends tried to fix my net for me yesterday :))) he was like asking me to do stuff for him for the whole day -.- yes. like free maid. mean right. haiii. but didnt mind though. since his friends can help me do my net =D but oh wells. they end up not knowing how too. bahhhs. think i got to bring the cpu to lifu again. see what he can do. and in the mean time. i wont even have my mp3s to pei wo. ): thats like the only thing i have with me now to keep myself not so bored. at least time passes faster. *grins*

let me love you

2005-03-26T03:41:00.000-08:00

ehh. most of the appeal results are out. zannie and xueying got back into rj :))) im happy for them! since they love it back there. still quite disturbed. okay not disturbed. im actually feeling quite sad for those whose appeal didnt get through. leonadi's didnt make it back. ): he loves rj i guess. cause all his soccer buddies are there. and like when sijia told me he went to netball court to find simin just to said bye. i was like uhhh. i dont know what to say. i wasnt there to see it. but its like. can feel its damn urgh. dont know how to say. =X read chinleng's blog. meixiu said he was like holding on to his phone all the time in ac. waiting for rj to call. its not fun at all lor. i think moe is quite stupid. -.-" they shouldnt be so lenient with pae if they intend to be freaking strict with jae. whatever man. dots. kaman isnt quite happy in vj too. maybe my case is better. since i chose to go there myself. have to like it. but its not bad there actually. quite nice (:

im decomposing soon. been rotting at home for 2 days. not doing anything. lots of messed up thoughts running through my damn mind. blah. wish i can stop thinking when i tell myself to. prefer being blank and lost. maybe things will be much simpler. talking to charissa on the phone now. LOL. amusing stuff (: new gossips. HAHAHAHA. making alot of assumptions and possibilties. very funny. hahaha. and she's forcing me to go offline. so i shall listen to my darling and get my butt off the com. *runs away*

blanked-

2005-03-24T14:12:00.000-08:00

dont know whats on my mind now. haha. just feel like writing this song in. (: okays. i mean type. lol.

ZAIZAI+BARBIE - 让我爱你

没有起伏的情绪
因为你出现后划破平静
震撼我已经封闭的心
冰山和雪在融解
回到初次的相遇
风在吹一个人独自美丽
灰的天空为何没有表情
你的心下雨

就让我爱你
没有了自己
残破的光影黑暗中深深吸引
绝对地就算生命所剩无几
只要拥抱瞬间的默契
就让我爱你
证明有奇迹
在狂野的心
灵魂的深处有你
我愿意放弃世界微笑而去
幸福很远心却在一起

过去总是挥不去
在坚强记忆仍像恶梦不醒
我的泪水淌过你的天空
雨下不停心好痛
风向画笔看着我
你的容颜仅在风的前头
我的心画出第一次的彩虹
因为你我相信

就让我爱你
没有了自己
残破的光影黑暗中深深吸引
绝对地就算生命所剩无几
只要拥抱瞬间的默契
就让我爱你
证明有奇迹
在狂野的心
灵魂的深处有你
我愿意放弃世界微笑而去
幸福很远心却在一起
下一个世纪让我爱你

...and im loving it

2005-03-24T12:53:00.000-08:00

o2's over. they said o1 was wayyy wayyy better than o2. and i was like thinking. vj's o2 is much better than rj's o1?! what the hell. haha. thats quite sad. but i think i dont regret going to vj. (: the only thing is that i keep sticking around jac. feel so bad and paiseh. cause i dont have many closer friends in vj. give me some time and i hope it'll all be alright soon. positive thinking. haha. but there's certain stuff i cant tell other people. was like keeping inside myself the whole day until i reach home. then called yenping and evelyn to scream. LOL. poor them. but i love my brudders! haha. though we're all like in different schools. but somehow i know they're just a phone call away. i really really super wish that evelyn can be in vj with me ):

anyways. went to ecp yesterday after the world tour thing. got dunked into the sea by i dont know who. hahaha. didnt mind actually. fun what. lol. *grins* yepps. did mass dance like everywhere. in school. at ecp. and suntec. though i like dont know half the steps. but still fun lah (: ohh. and i got posted to 05S47. thats a second intake class if im not wrong. new start i suppose. havent sign up for cca. dont know what to join. sigh -.- thinking between odac, vball and chinese drama. but they say chinese drama only have 2 locals. not again =X vball if there's new people maybe i'll consider. haha. if not so maluating. vj's vballers all a bit the zai only lor.

i want my own internet. buay tahan anymore! *cries* -___-

fresh!

2005-03-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

i realised i havent been blogging for almost a week! but its not my fault. stupid brother lah. refuse to let me use the net. and i obviously will not blog when he is like standing behind me waiting for me to get off the com and reading everything im typing. isnt it weird to have someone reading while you type what you want. o_O so i might as well not blog. let me see what i wanted to write in the past week. mmms. help me remember stuff (:

ohhh yes. last saturday of the march holidays (: they came my house for mahjong! opened two tables. had fun! *grins* though i hardly touched the mahjong set. was like watching them play most of the time. but nvm. haha (: shuting and leon came first. then charissa. we were playing bridge in my room. 2 mega watt lightbulbs can. haha. im referring to shuting and leon. distrupt my quality time with my darling charissa. lol. im feeling mad now. hahaha. and i think im deaf. i thought i heard chingkai said open the damn door. but he was supposedly very polite and actually said can you please open the door. huge difference leh. -__- something is wrong with my ears. haha. chenwei unexpectedly turned up at my house. wonder why man. LOL. but i didnt mind lah. cute what. hahahaha. just kidding. then shuting leon chenwei and charissa set up another table. i realised i hardly went over to that table. why ahhh? must give them privacy mah. LOL. kidding kidding (: then simin brought special guest wor - huili! who ponned vball training -.- tsktsk. how can like that. vanessa couldnt come in the end. sighh. havent seen her for very long. but wait. i have only seen her like twice before?! LOL. maybe next time. she still owe me a game of pool. haha. and i dont know how come charissa chenwei simin and me ended up playing spin the bottle. dots. were being spastic and retarded the whole day. but nvm. fun what. lol. most left pretty early. 3 stayed over. we played mahjong and bridge with mindy until we gave up on her lah. hahahaha. practice more lah darling. lol =P talked to mindy until 3+ am that night. (: overall. had fun lahhhh *grins* compared to normal school life. wayyyyy better. for me at least. lol.

and yepps. went school on monday. i didnt pon kay! damn guai can. haha. just kidding. took some pictures. but didnt charge my cam. so died after a while. so resorted to using handphone to take pictures. the resolution's quite pok. before and after zooming looks damn different. -__- nvm. ohhhhh. and youmin they all ask me to try and take HEH HEH's pictures! *laughs hysterically* YOUMIN leh! hahahaha. but i managed to! LOL. but got some candid one. still not bad lol. looks so nice. anyhow take also damn nice =D i sound bian tai =X hahaha. -.-"

orientation today at vj. pretty alright i suppose for first day in school. im quite lucky actually. the class/ band i was in (guns and roses or is it roses and guns? whatever. haha) got shan ru and fiona. at least i know someone! haha. then chien's in the same genre or better still. JAC IS MY OGL (: hahahaha. so weird. my ogl. but thats damn good *grins* heard shiling cried cause she didnt exactly liked vj. said she felt alone or something. will talk to her if i see her tomorrow. didnt see her the whole day except in the morning. come to think of it, i think this whole "alma-mater" kind of thing is damn cool. its like you can dont even talk to that person in secondary school. like not even a hi or anything. then when everyone's in different jc and you see them on the street or whatsoever, as long as you can recognise them, you can talk to them. so funny! haha. i like didnt know yawen in rg at all lor. until i crashed vj. and i just talked to her. just because she's from rg. (: lol. i miss rg. anyways. tml's supposed to have outing i think. we were discussing to pon all the stations and just go parkway and play pool. hahaha. but i think more O1 people will pon tomorrow. much more. lol. they say we'll know our classes tomorrow. pray pray pray that i get a damn funky and fun and super nice class!

ohhh. and i must add this in. vs people amuse me. LOL. not in a bad sense lah. just that the 'all-vs-people-quick-chiong-in-and-cheer' thing is super funny. was laughing like mad when all the vs guys stood in this U-shaped manner while singing the vj school song. which apparently is the vs school song as well. haha. then i dont know why the song suddenly become the whole bunch of vs people cheering like mad. i stand there and laugh until cannot make it. dont know why also. hahahaha. just damn cute. lol. can see they love they school like ALOT. but thats actually very nice in a way. school spirit! hahaha. see! i can be ON too can! *laughs* im feeling mad!hahaha.

evelyn just called me. her appeal didnt get through... ): but she's happy since she got out of aj. but ahhhh. thought one of my brothers will be in vj with me.. *sigh*

dead dead dead

2005-03-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

ahhhh. die le lah. today is auntie's birthday. so im supposed to go down to office for lunch. wont be back early i suppose. and there's huang cheng tonight. dont think i'll be meeting youmin for dinner cause mummy's treating auntie to dinner. hope its somewhere near vt. dont want to be late. and i havent gotten any presents for them yet! 0_0 ahhhs. i didnt do work yesterday. doubt i'll do any today. and my tomorrow's going to be gone too. yay -.- mummy is rushing me. got to go change *runs away*

ohhhh. btw. shall update about my interesting cousin when i have the time. HAHAHAHA. shall suan him if i see him later. =P

i hate mosquitoes.

2005-03-17T16:57:00.000-08:00

and i was laughing at youmin and yilin the other day. they were complaining about all the mosquito bites. and i thought i didnt have any. just realised i have 12 can! -__- stupid mosquitoes.

mindy came my house this morning. and we went to play tennis! im so sure. hahahahaha. someone's nice enough to cook for her. so she doesnt need me to treat her to lunch. lol. but she's so nice! got me starbucks oreo cheesecake! *grins* went to parkway for lunch so dropped mindy off on the way. bought some stuff for saturday. realised i spent a lot recently. keep withdrawing money without keeping track on how much im spending. not very good. but maybe cause its holidays (: okay. thats quite an excuse. hahaha. nvm. supposed to be doing work today since i didnt go out. but oh wells. glued myself to the com as usual. no idea what i was doing online though. haiiis. then my darling mindy came back to my house to look for me! bet she missed me. hahahaha. rite- we ended up playing stupid games online. but the page is quite cute. never knew got such a page. go and see! http://www.metoyou.co.uk and she gave me an idea what to do to my notebook. shall copy her. wont be exactly the same though. i like doing such stuff. *grins*

quizzes!

2005-03-16T19:47:00.000-08:00

What attracts people to you?
brought to you by Quizilla

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You like the sweet, shy type.
What kind of guy are you most attracted to? (CUTE anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never knows what you're going to come up with next; this creates great excitement and arousal never knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end in a kiss as great as your mystery.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

LOL. hahahahahaha. sweet shy type? errrr...? LOL. but i like that anime picture. so cute!

titleless (:

2005-03-16T18:01:00.000-08:00

just came back from class outing. i went kay! hahaha. since the last time i said i'll go (: met at bedok mrt then took a bus to parkway. i should have just went to parkway straight in that case. lol. had lunch at fish and co. so nice! *grins* headed down to east coast park. they went bowling. i didnt bowl since i had to leave at 4 anyway. but the thing keep screwing up. the ball rolled down the drain and they recorded it as strike. good huh. lol. the person was still repairing that thing when i left.

hmmms. so little time left. so much to do actually. but im not in the mood. talking about catching up on vj's work. hahahahaha. i think its a miracle if i can even finish rj's one lah! lol. i doubt so actually. judging from how motivated i am now. =X and i cant wake up properly in the morning recently. its like i woke up already. yet im forcing myself to go back to sleep. cause i havent think or dream of some stuff yet? LOL. what the?! but i know im still semi-conscious. eh? i realised im not making sense. lol. nevermind.

need to learn to separate the past and the present. cant keep comparing. wont get me anywhere. yepps. gone means gone. period. (:

grr. i want my internet!

2005-03-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

this is SO freaking irritating. like what. he says 10 minutes. as if he's the boss around. get lost lah. think he's damn great. right. wait a million years also cannot make it. tmd.

the match with smu today somehow seems more relaxed and slow-paced. not as exciting as yesterday. hmmms. nvm. went macs to eat after that. didnt matter. cause i didnt feel like eating ice cream. so skipping gelare wasnt that bad i suppose. and the saturday thing is getting on my nerves. shall get it settled soon. wait till i get back my own internet. which is i dont know when and i dont know how. BLAH. -________-

i am sleepy

2005-03-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

okay. i feel like sleeping. and its 9 plus. not too early actually. haha. my record still holds at 6.45pm. hahahaha =P met yenping and youmin at bedok today for lunch. then went to vj to watch friendly. think we lost all the games. but nvm lah. and omg. vj vballers are so scary! most of them are like soooo tall! i think some of them can reach 1.8m lor. and their spiking is damn ZAI. maybe i cant judge yet. since im like super noob and its the first time i watch a match between 2 schools. but oh well. good enough to make me 0_0 going to watch them play another one tomorrow. is it with smu? not too sure. after that going to go gelare with vballers =D half price waffle! HAHAHA. this is thanks to the constant influence by charissa. lol. going to kbox in the morning with evelyn, youmin and yenping. ahhh. im so going to be broke soon. =X

ilu! grins

2005-03-13T15:41:00.000-08:00

S.H.E - 我爱你

从你眼睛看着自己最幸福的倒影
握在手心的默契是明天的指引
无论是远近什么世纪在天堂拥抱或荒野流离
我爱你我敢去未知的任何命运
我爱你我愿意准你来跋扈地决定世界边境

偶尔我真得不懂你又有谁真懂自己
往往两个人多亲密是透过伤害来证明
想焦虑不安我就任性怕泄漏你怕所以你生气
我爱你让我听你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你我想亲你倔强到极限的心
我撑起所有爱围成风雨的禁地挡狂风豪雨想让你喘口气
被划破的信心需要时间痊愈梦想缠着怀疑未来看不清
就紧紧的拥抱去传递能量和勇气我爱你

我爱你我想去未知的任何命运
我爱你让我听你的疲惫和恐惧
我爱你我想亲你倔强到极限的心
哪里都一起去一起仰望星星一起走出森林一起品尝回忆
一起误会妒忌一起雨过天晴一起更懂自己一起找到意义
我不要没有你我不能没有你绝不能没有你

love this song to bits (:

backkk (:

2005-03-12T23:58:00.000-08:00

-_______- im damn loser. dots. typed a freaking long entry. and my stupid little toe was touching the restart button on the com. yay. when i realised. the screen blacked out. wth. didnt feel like coming back to blog. its different. not possible for me to write the same stuff again. arghhs. but i have nothing esle to do. i am very very bored. sighhh. blogging is like me talking to myself. so exciting. blah. -.-"

okays. i found another thing which i dont like about blogspot. theres always that title box i need to fill in. and i cant think of any title! not like i can be bothered to anyway. im not writing a GP essay lor. mmms. i can actually choose to leave that stupid box empty. but at the side column under the previous entries, the stupid blogspot will show the first few lines of that entry and then put dot dot dot. it wont be uniform anymore. super out of place. not nice. i dont like. haha. and i just reformatted my computer and IT-idiot me have no idea how to get my internet back. so now my computer doesnt have mp3 and internet. doesnt help that my brother refuse to help me fix my net. and its march hols lah! and i cant use the net. so pathetic can. *yawns* going to be damn sian. how to survive? o_O

yesterday was the last day of school. not going to be my last day in rj though. pretty sure i'll be going back to school on monday. cause i want them to finish that maths chapter. LOL. charissa gave me that what-is-your-problem look when i told her im going back to school just because there's maths lecture and tutorial on monday. hahaha. im a bit mad. but nvm lah. monday only got 4 blocks of lessons. time passes very fast on monday somehow. ohhh. and there's recreational volleyball in the afternoon. shall go. (: i like volleyball! haha. so fun. though i freaking suck at it. dont think i'll dare to join vball in vj. heard they are quite zai. and i think they will puke blood teaching me or sth. and i realised something. somehow volleyballers are very nice people. super fun to hang out with and can become very close type. not just rg vballers. (youmin evelyn and yenping, dont ego. lol)

wanted to crash vj the whole day initially, even assembly. haha. but last minute everyone decided not to go and i didnt want to go alone. sigh. could have gone and hang out with jac. but i dont know her classmates! so scary. just dawned on me that thats going to be pretty much the situation i'll be in when im there next time. cant afford to be anti-social anymore i guess. haha. (: i want to crash vj full day on tuesday! hope this time i'll really go. somehow i always end up not going. oh wells. haha. in the end. i just guai guai finish up my chem homework and went to school. shouldnt have gone to school yesterday. quite a waste of time actually. first block physics lecture. they used the whole 1 hour for the glider prize presentation. didnt mind cause not like i'll pay attention if they teach since i dont know whats going on. hahaha. the only good thing is that the video showed my eyecandy! (: so cute so cute! lol. next block. pe. was cancelled. so we had like 2 hours of break straight. not that im complaining. haha. sat with trier in the canteen and listened to her talk about her mokkie for one hour. realised i havent really talk to her since i dont know when. so weird. and yingqi was on the phone for the whole of that 2 hours. she was still talking when we went into the lecture theatre. im amased. haha. econs lecture was like the only useful block the whole day. i paid attention! so happy (: though i still quite blur. but nvm. lol. ponned the last two blocks of lessons and went j8 with charissa. thats not because im leaving and so i dont care or whatsoever. cause the last two blocks are pretty useless. GP and econs tutorial. im sure lim guat ching will use that one hour to educate us on how to teach your maid or bake cake with jewellery inside. never knew what she was talking about since the first econs tutorial. she makes me feel like dropping econs. lucky the present lecturer is quite good. at least enough to make me not sleep and listen. lol. and if i really crash vj on tuesday. i wont see ms veera again i guess. so... hahahaha.

youmin they all end school at 3. so me and charissa stoned at j8. okay. not stone. we went deli france. then later to coffee bean to sit and talk. super long never talk to her. had pure vanilla and cheesecake! ahhhhs. damn nice! but not good. fattening. lol. and that stupid charissa keep stealing my oreo and normal cheese layer. leaving the middle mocha cheese part. lol. bought new earrings (: cause i lost all my earrings. haha. somehow they always get washed down the sink or drop somewhere. after that went to queensway with youmin, yenping, charissa and bessie. queensway become the new cool hangout place. or so we claim. LOL. saw so many rg people there. and our dear mel lim kindly helped us improve our horrible taste. -___- hahaha. and i still like that pair of orange shoes!

went to taka with youmin and yenping after that. didnt go to the class bbq in the end. kinda regretted a little and felt quite bad. shanti had fever i think. but she went. which made me feel even more guilty actually. but i cant eat anything even if i went! at most only the marshmallows. okays. i will go for the next class outing. if theres going to be another one that is. heard depressing news from yenping. i dont like. nvm. sigh. trier came to join us for dinner. and she continued talking about her mokkie. ohhh. and i learnt a new shortform - G.O.H. was wondering what the hell was that. then i realised trier just came up with it to keep her already not secret conversation secret. LOL. guess also can guess what she's talking about lor. btw, G.O.H = get over him. hahahaha. was in a counsellor mood yesterday. haha. okay. maybe not. maybe its just because ive become a little cynical and cant be bothered over such stuff anymore. lol. but basically trying to pyscho trier to be more realistic and reasonable. she needs to. not good for her.

went out with mindy today to hunt for book. okay. notebook. yenping cant associate the word 'book' with me and so she insists i say 'notebook'. lol. i will start reading kay! someday. just someday. hahaha. i like the notebook i bought! (: pretty pretty! we bought the same one. i like new new stuff. just feels so nice. makes me happy. haha. me and mindy have quite a lot of common weird habits. LOL. so amusing. still need to get a pencilbox. shant buy a new file. should just get nice wrapping paper to wrap my file. save money. haha. saw this super nice wrapping paper at kino. bright pink with shiny lips and funky wordings. haha. but it just looks damn nice lah. mindy thinks so too *grins* but didnt get it lah. dont want to die. lol. im always feeling bored. cant seem to figure why i dont like to go home nowadays. actually dropped at paya lebar with mindy. then took a bus home from there to delay time. lol. next monday got class lunch. looking forward to it i guess. but i want to watch the friendly with vj. so doubt i'll stay there for very long.

"if you've truely found the one, then give it a wing to fly, and if it chooses to stay, then it was meant to be" --- heard it somewhere before. recently saw it on ching kai's msn nick. so i just stole it. *grins* sounds nice. and for once, i think this kind of stuff makes quite a bit of sense. haha. 豁然开朗! (:

feeling so lost

2005-03-06T00:10:00.000-08:00

i spent another day without knowing how i spent it. this is sad. i also dont know what happened to me recently. cant seem to do my work. not a single piece can! this is bad. hopefully it doesnt remain this way when i go vj. cause it'll defeat my purpose of going there. talking about purposes. i cant seem to remember clearly what was my initial push or motivation to go vj anymore. hahaha. but i wont change my mind. that im pretty sure.

sijia said she'll help me pay the ten bucks! lol. awww. i feel so loved darling! (: but dont worry. doesnt mean i wont love you guys anymore when im somewhere esle. and not like i cant see you all anywhere esle except school. actually, i dont get the feeling that we'll drift apart. cause i still feel pretty much normal when i talk to esther. *grins* ohhhh. talking about that. was with evelyn at cafe cartel the other day. we were saying something like we should meet every last saturday of the month! cool right! (: wanted to extend it to every year's valentines too! that doesnt apply to mindy cause she always pang seh us for *ahem* oh sighh. nevermind. we were saying whoever pangseh us on that day owe us all ice cream. what if next year everyone pangseh me. omg. so sad. hahaha. i will have lots of ice cream. but that just means i'll get damn fat. BAHS.

i need to do work. need to do work. need to do work. so much to catch up. so little time. wait. actually. a lot of time. i just dont know where they go to. not good at all. pretty screwed up this year. or maybe. just recently. (: will get back on track. real soon.

ohhhh. did i mention? pkk rocks. my aunt called yesterday to ask me whether i know where he is. apparently i think my aunt asked him to eat dinner. he didnt bother to answer. so i dont know who shouted at who first. but basically. he got pissed at the nagging. and went to school early next morning before anyone saw him and didnt come home the whole of last night until this afternoon. lol. pkk you win lah. so dua pia. okay. i shouldnt be approving his action. according to my mum. im supposed to talk him around. hahaha. im sure. and the next thing you'll see is him walking away without a word with that chao ta face. lol. i dare bet with you. but seriously. he needs to improve on his mood swings. its damn scary sometimes.

by the way. my er jie is sweet. pretty. smart. nice and cute. thats all i can write. because she only provided me with 5 adjectives to describe her. lol.

pocky test.. LOL

2005-03-05T09:30:00.000-08:00

You Are Banana Pocky

Your attitude:
Fun and lighthearted
Unique and unforgettable
You are a cutie everyone falls for

What flavour pocky are you?

banana pocky? hahahaha. i never knew such flavour existed. does it taste good? o_O and i slept at 7pm yesterday -__- and i actually woke up at like 8.15am today? omg. *faints* thats like more than 12 hours of sleep lah. i feel so pig. and i wanted to go for vball today. messaged yenping at like 7 to ask if there was training. the next time i read her reply. it was 8.15 -.- so i decided not to go since mummy went out. and by the time i reach school. would be super late. *sighhhh* shall go swimming later. hope i eventually do. cause somehow i always end up not going when i say i am. -_- terrible. lotsa work to catch up. must start doing. must find the mood. soon. (:

yay! (:

2005-03-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

finished the jae thing an hour ago. printed it out. need to photocopy result slip later and bring to school. i feel so relaxed. dont have to keep changing my mind. cause kiam me shall not and will not waste 10 bucks to change my options. (: lol.

1st choice - vj science
2nd choice - rj science
3rd choice - hc science

hahaha. i feel like an idiot putting rj after vj. -__- but nevermind. shall give vj a shot. hope all turns out fine. okay. not fine. very nicely (: i like the thought of waking up at 7 everyday. *grins* darrell just asked me why im always sian and sleepy in school. lol. i didnt know its noticable. that bad? mmms. evelyn's coming tomorrow! crashing my class whole day (: but i dont intend to go for the first three blocks. so she can just sit with me and do work for three hours in the canteen (no food. no food. no food! i need to go on my failed-a-million-years-ago-diet! lol) shall attend only the econs lecture. all settled. yay (:

argh.

2005-03-02T22:22:00.000-08:00

abstinence. abstinence. abstinence. i need to get that freaking mouse away from that freaking nick. and my fingers away from that left click button. its not doing me any good. pretty obvious how things should be now. not what i wanted but i shall not zi tao mei qu anymore. and come to think of it. everything was bullshit lah. determination. yes. i need that. i know it wont ever be alright. but whatever. none of my concern. like it this way. good for you. weirdo.

and i just love esther! haha. okay. this is random. but nvm. *grins*

numbed

2005-03-01T20:58:00.000-08:00

i shouldnt be alone too often. start thinking about things. which arent actually very good cause i'll start feeling sian and moody. okay. ive decided on something. (at least i decided on one thing! bahahaha) i shall let everything go. really. i shall not be bothered with him anymore. i think that will make me happier. much happier. even evelyn thinks im rather different nowadays. maybe. okay. he shall no longer affect my mood. i promise. or at least. i'll try. *grins*

i still cant decide! this isnt good. need to do the jae by friday. i cant seem to know whats acutually holding me back. pretty sure the only thing i'll miss in rj is 1. all the rg people in rj 2. their chem -__- haha. i sound mad. but somehow. their chem seems quite fun leh. dont scold me. lol. need to go school tomorrow. feel so sian at the thought of it. sighs. lets see how things go. see how much i'll love rj within the next few 50hrs. bahs *run and hides in a corner*

follow up!

2005-03-01T09:51:00.000-08:00

AND I MET SHI AT WISMA YESTERDAY!!! =D wahahaha. small world. but thats good.

hmmm

2005-03-01T02:22:00.000-08:00

got back results today. don't know why they call it first three months when its only the end of february. haha. went to wisma macs to meet xink they all in the morning. it was supposed to be a class breakfast i think. but apparently im late (i realised im always late.. sorry.. haha) so when i reached, only a few of them were there. youmin and chinleng went back to school already. to bug miss pang. they said she give hints of how you've done through her facial expressions. amusing. what if she's just happy the whole day. haha. and did you all realised something? she didnt ask us to do brain gym at all! surprisingly. lol. ohhhh. and congrats to lehui!! =D top scorer from our class. rockkks. so happy for her! charmaine another one. hahaha. a bit straight A1s only. miss pang told jac charmaine's result. so she was like super relieved after 10am lah. lucky shit. leaving the rest of us freaking out like siao.

stayed at macs with ser, xink, shiyun, sophia, xiuwen and liaoying. everyone was like panicky. took a few pictures. the only few pictures i took in the entire day! and i said i wanted to take until my battery flat or something. -__- dots. haha. nvm. shall take tml. i can take video of people singing too! hahaha. going kbox with cheen they all. yay *grins* second time in my entire life im going kbox. hahaha. going pool later too. i miss pool! its addictive. though i still suck at it. lol. went back to rg at around 11. I SUPER SUPER LOVE RGS CAN! and I SUPER SUPER LOVE 403! feels so good to be back in rg. we rotted in school for like 3 hours. in the canteen. AHHH. i miss the canteen food! rj's food is expensive and sucky. bahhs. oh.. they say that vj's food is very nice *grins* another pro of vj. lol. =P went to the hall early to sit/slack/sleep. got air con what. hahahaha. deborah tan talked for like super long before giving back results. everyone was like super worried. i love our class! everyone's so nice. so so so nice! all the support and stuff.. i just love ya guys to bits! and we hated 403 at first. this is funny. hahaha.

pretty alright with my results i suppose. quite disappointed with my stupid english. though its expected. but ahhhs. still... haii. nvm. combined humans died on me. expected though i still hoped for some miracle somewhere. but cant blame anyone lah. i chose to give russia up. okay. shall not complain. =) went long john with youmin jade mindy xink shiyun and TRIER (u forced me to mention your name. was planning to leave it out. hahaha. just kidding) to eat. or rather. i koped their fries and drink. lol. =P mindy said i cant console people. which is pretty true. wonder whether that's a good or bad thing. but i think it'll all turn out fine lah. so mindy doesnt have to worry much for ahem. lol. and it rained super heavily lah. six people. no one had an umbrella. so cool. ended up running in the rain from far east to wisma to find cheen they all. they all go pierce ear! youmin pierced her fifth one -.- u mad woman. hahaha. okay. fine. is i dont dare to pierce again. haha. not pain meh. i see people pierce the top of their ear. isnt it painful? like poking a hole through your earbone (does it goes through there? no idea) ouch. supposed to go kbox. in the end we didnt. watched movie instead. trier and jade cried -_-'''' haha. hanged out a little after that then went home. ohh ohh. I GOT BACK MY COM! like finally. but lifu said it has 400 over virus? i was like what the shit. but he said he helped me got rid of them or something. no idea. im quite a computer idiot. but whatever. as long as i can use it.

i havent do the jae thing yet. shall wait until thursday. realise i havent really decided yet. i hate being indecisive. argh. lets see how much i will love rj within the next few days. though its the same bunch of people. it feels different when you're in rg and rj. weird. maybe thats why im preserving what i want it to be. they say it's different if im in another school. but it might not be the same even if i stay right? haiii. i want to go back to sec 4. love those days. i actually looked forward to going to school then. how nice. =) haha. i need sleep. have a feeling im going to be late tomorrow. as usual. not a good habit to cultivate. lol.

ehh. i feel quite.. i dont how to say. i dont know how to console people. which i actually think its pretty useless at this stage. cause nobody really listens. but ahh. dont keep everything inside lah kay. its over le. dont dwell on it. chingkai CHEER UP soon kay =D silas and benny you too =D

i want my com..

2005-02-27T21:28:00.000-08:00

I MISS MY COM! argh. i so want it back. realised i can live without my phone now. but its so sian without a com. i miss parking myself online on msn. not like i talk to anyone in the first place. but ahhh. -_- waiting for that stupid pig to bathe seems rather agonising now. hope mummy brings it back tml. and i still dont feel the jitters. someone whack me. im thinking about the wrong stuff.

surprise!

2005-02-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

finally got this thing done. *grins* EVELYN DEAR! arent you proud of me! hahaha. but i still dont like the template can. but this PINK one is wayyy better than some ugly black one with polka dots.. 0_0 next time help me do one okay? when ur free lah. im so considerate =) and i just realised that this stupid thing cant be locked. hmm. then what if i want to write something and dont want people to read? maybe thats why i thought blogs were stupid. but come to think of it. quite fun lar.. almost anything is when you're bored. i dont know how long i'll be able to maintain this thing anyway. had one diaryland thing last time. 3 entries in like, let me see... half a year! and i think the stupid diaryland just cancelled my account for me in the end -__- save me the trouble of doing it myself. lol.

ohhh. and i have finally decided. i think ultimately no matter where i choose to go. as long as im answerable to myself i think thats enough i suppose. *grins* but still have to wait for the results to be out. but i think its not going to affect my decision i think. unless i get some shit results which dont even allow me to go into both schools *TOUCH WOOD* another 26hrs before the results are out.. but i dont feel nervous yet.. is that good or bad? i feel so emotionless. trying to picture myself getting back my results. but i cant see myself being damn happy or damn sad. (and no. i dont want to and hope i wont be sad. like duhs) hahas. but still. hope i'll do well lah. ^_^ dont dare look at my combined humans and sciences though. think i kind of screwed them up. especially history. AHHH. thats bad -_- im actually praying for miracles. like who doesnt want a1 lah. haha. but i have a feeling im going to be disappointed in my results. bah. CHOY! postive thoughts. postive thoughts. *grins* but i hope we'll all do very well! then after that we can go and celebrate like siao =D got class breakfast on monday! i need to remember to charge the camera. i swear im going to take pictures until my battery goes flat! hahahahas. the last time i did that was at rachel's place. I LOVE THE POOL! haha. looked damn pretty can! but i think i didnt exactly liked it when i went in. hahaha. wasnt a good entry into the pool. esp when i rmbed to take off my shoes and not my phone.. lol. i think im damn smart. -__- haha. whatever. shall not talk about it anymore =)

i need entertainment. im feeling damn bored recently. haiiis. been pretty moody i think. (and no i dont pms at all) we arent talking like we used to. maybe thats why. ah nvm.

need to find out how to get a tagboard! hahaha. one of the main reasons i shall try to keep this blog. youmin evelyn yuppie xink and everyone i know must come and tag i tell you! (that is when i figure out how to get one first) lol. its a good way of keeping in touch with my darlings if i go another school right? see how much i love you. even bothering to make a blog lah. haha. like what. yingying got blog one meh? must be damn gan dong right? hahaha. shit. im late for class. again. *runs*

black AND white

goodbye my friend

let go

i miss ):

shoppp

rahhh

cool phrase

白色风车

empty

damn sad

i dont want to study!

hmm

sigh

motivation

fortune telling!

sighs

true colour

gathering! (:

birthday

from me to you (:

im not bothering

bruddahhoot mahjong

kbox madness

bored

back to earth haha!

go and study!

teachers day

its freaking unfair

Initial D

super cute!

kbox rocks.

class outing to sentosa

i feel like crying

ravvv!

sigh

i want you

irritated

did i change?

tired

mahjong!

two candies (:

midyears over!

im going to do quiz after midyears =)

where are you

he is damn cute!

i need need need to study

i miss you!

withdrawal systoms again!

wouldnt it be nice!

kbox on 3rd June!

satisfied

readyandup

move it!

sighhhh

arhhh

contented

lava brownie *chomps*

immuned

yays.

stressed and shitted

yeppps

iloveyoursmiles =)

hell pissed.

abbbbbs! (:

wah lao!

oohlahlah (:

i am bloated -.-

minmin!

masked.

zonked

let me love you

blanked-

...and im loving it

fresh!

dead dead dead

i hate mosquitoes.

quizzes!

titleless (:

grr. i want my internet!

i am sleepy

lava brownie chomps

ilu! grins